Be the cause

Because I felt lonely and I don't trust myself when I feel lonely so I choose to run away from that which is happening around me.  I find my way out and run for the quiet and solitude and that did not help so I am left with a bit of a tail spin and I am very unsure of how to do what while I wait for this next project.  This great project that I have been waiting for, the project that will take my life to complete. I am so. Dry close to exploding and I have no words 

Not joy but glee? This is how I'll play in the space between. A few enters and maybe that will be to much for the reader but it will fill me with the time and maybe I can hide in plain sight this way.  I'll just put card to table and show my path north this weekend is for one very unlikely reason... Nope, can't do it. Can't do it even as a joke. It's to close to heart wrenching and I don't have the tools to everything back in place.  I won't be doing any shopping this days (a blatent reference to the place beneath my shoes that I avoid treading.  It's all in his hands and I pitted patter away and wish for a smitter smatter to wipe my face with only warm water. At this point my points weaken with a stronger resolve.  I start playing the music that broke my heart of its disorder. My body sways, if only in my head.  I twirl to see the back of your neck and the back of your head....cents don't seem to matter to my file runner.  I lead with my truth for others and I feel the counterfeit for not admitting it to anyone, but they know

They already know and knew before me. I'm blind to me.

I begin to matter to me...