timing

And we are marching right down into it. the wrap up to a  second high makes for such glorious potential.  I wait with abated breath for the coming days of new adventures.  two weeks make another mid month type payment option.  I'll have some time to myself and maybe some to share with another, but this is too public a forum to declare the long term goals of such an unstable new born type.  I speak with great understanding but I understand very little from the broadcasting capabilities of surrounding towers.  though I translate more than I should and I wonder if my direct line has been realigned.  How can I see these pictures of mechanics out side of my experience.  I look for the long distance to grow something with in that is thicker.  Allow for the right conditions for depth and ringing high notes that stretch the neck line of a new born ballerina.  How can this be?  how can the music change like that and in that way?  I don't understand why or how but why is not something that I seem to care about in any way.  I slip into a foot trap that drags me upside down before it places me right on my feet again but in an unknown land with an unknown language.  I have been told I speak it all so well but I don't always know what I am saying....oh wow

different

all the way in one direction
and then all the way back!
I am spurred to churn molasses into butter
maybe plot the un hooding
the Spektor plays songs on the radio
my well trained dog leaps at cage doors
Better? only in time can this work for all that is good
hundreds of hands are reaching and I can hear them all
breaking hearts shatter mores and patterns blur
Keep at it the studies and you will come to a point
as iron sharpens Iron...bring the heat.
course from street to road and high way
my way paved undeserved and...set aside?
Reserved for more than I can do.
And this is why help is so important.
and talking brings hot brown liquid to a craving
I hope you don't spill, but if this happens
I'll use my scarf as a reminder

stream

those two birds have one stone amoungst them.

I am sorry for this practice of leaving you out, fear not as an end is near.  I have not seen you in so long, but tht comes with the thought that there was a long term goal from the stream to reach this raging river.

Rage as in the kindest type of controled power, driven to fix one point in place.  Did you know I was reaching at this for the longest time.  Even when root beer was distraction enough to bowl me away, i held.  imperfect is the taste of artificial turf and we should all strive to think of when it is we can think about how moving forward hits it all strait off.

I'm waiting for this phone call on one account so I can post on another?  forget that.  I'll just cut and paste!

xerox or kleenex, either is a mild form of false.

Much love

red out

Let me redefine coffee for me:
It's really hot water pored through or over dried ground up beans.
It is not your future no matter how much you might hope.
This is a matter of time but this warm brown beverage
(which I put bee spit in)
has no greater significance than an opportunity
sought after yes but why pressurize?
it ruins the blend and you are patient.
Don't you see the effort to prolong is a hidden effort to preserve a measure of quality?
so vent how ever you must but be glad in the end.
Let your siblings eet out all they want because you can't stop them from reading into it.
Your mission is about reading out of it.
Suit up, you're center stage from here on out.
scrub all the red out.

all nighter

On this particular, which is my element, I was met with the choppiest of seas.
I was able to complete the transaction with full abandon, but only for a short time.
How hungry I have been for that fire to fall.
and how it did...in dueling heart chambers!
confirmation in the declaration via sms makes lighter
the burden and time of the phone call fighter
which fought to have
         brought  me down with dross.
Thank you fire of all places for descending this night
and burning the dross into day light of ever lasting per portions.

no break space

I love my Mac.  It reads my friends blogs to me and after every paragraph it will say
'no break space"
if there is a space between it and the next paragraph.

like what I just did there.  If you have a Mac and can get it to read to you, give it a whirl.  I chose the voice that claims to be Scottish, but you can pick from a wide variety.  You can also do fun things like make it read this to you:

ksdhfnwfownfkw f fwoebfwf cklaJNSNWDJNDNNJWEWBFBWJBWkbfjvho jnjnfnejbbwbbegbbwbgwbgbwgbebiwbfjbu8fwuegifdvsabcknvlwbgwifhwihfebbwbwhfjbablbwfaojb;dljwbfwe;hvlkjbf;kwf;hwefhwgkjdnbv;doherghweblkjebjhewbtowheigeivblabviessfsfksegfehgpqhefr

So silly!

לָמַה לֹא

Silver voiced, my ears ring with likelihood.  and I stand copper handed with a crafting hart. A solid stopper to prevent brain loss. Only with time will we measure the vacuum power without. Birthday wishes are not telling to the end. I plot what is to be said like a play wright fighting writers block. 

And how is that for telling  truth scary  I know, but picnics happen sometime and do so with such joy.  This is where Beckett rolls over from false abstraction. I have nothing to distract from what is going to be going on.  Only unbearably weighty conjecture.  

More and more to come

blazzing

guns  blazing I must confess it frustrates me how quickly you have bricked it.  are you so locked into place?  notice that motion is part of the flow...do you intend to sink?  grow some fins?  you are well adaptive as we are the same cloth, but what faith is this?   What are you trusting and to what end do you press this mark?  I don't have time to not do pending work.   You really aught climb that tree for a track jumping course change.  So happy for your extended family, but my ears are full from my own mistakes and its time for me to depart from my silly minded self molded egg shell.  So easily crushed and meant for nothing

more or less

the chop

ear phone in i start to see how long will this one go before I realize time past.  I'll need breaks to express the separate thoughts and at this point I'm in the midst of the chop.  We bounce and are rewritten.  When did that movie come out?  How can you be in favor of such things that cause mental rot?  (I am not talking to any of you but myself, there is a target that runs out, not on.  There was no hood that time but there will be today? well the rehearsals are ongoing but this cast is ready for a showing.  The pattern would suggest that silly is on the edge.  and when you factor erosion into the equation the down turn seems to be my willingness to stay still.  Marching orders would be preferable so 'twould be best to tuck and roll.


is this the input? is this from all these times i had other things playing a sound track from outside, which includes right now.  how can I make it more clear to me? all this chop is the perfect storm and it is closing in.  I'm telling you to close your eyes out of faith that it will fit into the plan. close these things out and run on into the changing curve of the approaching waves.  Raging red no match for the darkness of blind footing.  I am comfortable with my granite roots.  the buds are a tad shy and prune leary, but one must not become a small bush when shade is the order of the day.  One of those thousand year type days where orchards migrate all the way around and the children get lost in the size and shape of the passage of time. The tea is ready and spreadable honey needs the time to melt.

soil

fresh soil has this texture
crumbly soft
I tried working on a worm farm once.
I was not able to put the order in
moon shot was a multiple pass time
now i carry their swag ironically
more than just boundaries...oceans!
less than perfect selfishness
reserved and edited high praise
can the unknown be spoken of?
stream is a trickle at this point
the dam falters as fault lines fined routes across
if the bridge is built in time worry will be comical

molasses

I had opened the box of candy.  I saw this thin layer of plastic and it occurred to me I could use this literary device and he might never know.  Now you must know that he would know because he  was the one living the life being presented.  This might be the end of the list, which would be what he would prefer.  I must point out that the point here is to picture this short and true moment.  His friends may know, they may not, but truth has a way of rising to the surface anyway.

Molasses

silent he stood
no hood because the days warmth prevented extra layers
the naysayers of his youth bound and back a bit
He could sit there for hours.  He was content to be present
and he 'wonders' what it meant.
and prayers with upward cent
were sent. Stalwart in his custom
he would turn home, but the molasses held his feet.
A slight turn of the hooded head slowed all of time.
He was sure of a questioning face next to his.
circuits blown from the settling molasses, he had gaps.
He told me of his 30 second journey all evening
and woke me with more versions.
No cars. no others. no words.
alone with the hooded slight head turn.
and when eternity ended 30 seconds after,
Rafter minded, he departed that corner.
Tempted
                to be recklessly
                                          joyous.

run on

I have written about January 7 2004 before and if you want to read about more about what happened that day you can read it here:

pollution

It should be enough to say there was no electricity that morning and I felt a wealth of peace wash over me as I went outside.  I felt a similar peace as I walked home from dinner tonight.  Similar in that the city is so quiet on Friday nights.  It was not similar in that I was not alone the whole time, but that too was quite comfortable.  If I may say it this way:

I was once a stone mason.  I was rather skilled at my work.   Even now my works stand strong in the harshest of environments.  I had even built a reputation of highly  respected quality.  I made walls.  For the most part they were boundary markers, but there was the occasional need for something of more significant resistance.  It was of great import to me that my work be smooth on all sides.  For the most part, I succeeded.

I learned a great deal about construction during this season in my life and walls are still being built.  I must admit that I am challenged with the new horizon I am working toward.  I have been commissioned to build a bridge.  While there are many transferable skills, the end result will be so vastly different.

I am filled with an onslaught of rapid fire questions, yet this peace is a consistent motif with in the movement of this piece.   He's got the upper hand in this with this mind set, my ears wet or other I'm free to plug on  I grab this sentence and run on because and key both mean the same.  We can tame these tigers and take their stripe, they wipe clean off when you use the write cloth.  Oh some time has gone by but so much more to go! I wait for his time to be on...
and I'll grab the sentence and run on...

boker 2

The morning is a great time of day!  I very much enjoy hanging out at night and staying up late.  It has puzzled me for a long time how or why I like to be up late and wake up early.  Most people are one or the other not both.  It was not until recently that I have begun to realize why I have grown to love the morning time.  It is because I am an introvert!

   Most people are surprised when I say this if they don't flat out tell me I am wrong.  Then they ask what recharges me more, being in a group or being alone.  I would say being alone because that is what feels most accurate.  The problem always came up that I would love to see far away friends that have come to visit.  When people saw me it appeared I was getting me energy from being around people and I could see their point.

  Very recently my mornings went through a change and suddenly there are more people around and it began to effect me.  I had no idea that all these years of waking up early to go to school and or work that I had used my time alone to get charged up for the day.  It is no wonder that I am able to get up early when that is the only time I'll have to myself!  This will be very helpful as I can now knowingly adjust my schedule to make sure I stay the happy me people are used to interacting with, rather than the grumpy me that was threatening to take over!

boker

so some times i wake up and then with little agenda is see an open book with which I can fill my day and today is a day like that day. this is a all fodder for the coming long term work where we take buckets of paper and ship them to the da da blender.

it strike me as funny that as advanced as my computer is that it has no knowledge of major movements in literature, but it sure wants to correct my spelling

I'm eating dinner and at the right moment a neighbor turns the corner and runs back. so we went hunting with full bellies.  found  more than one with celebratory joy spilling out with song.  I join in as is my custom.

count down is unbelievably heavy  and draws me to a proper boundary line.  with said line below in unsaid field (though it is being sung of in many a song) what is to hold me back from fezzik cliffs ?  hundreds of smaller hands with a small invisible thread create a drag coefficient that pushes me forward to work with intention.  It is our difference in philosophy that draws additional threads to breaking points but that heals faster than we can break at it.  it is a deeper root than can be pulled out. There is one root winding in the most direct way.  Our crooked eyes distort it to our crooked view and our crooked hearts act out our crooked views.  and for this reason I am thankful that hands greater than mine are able...willing...with purpose.

time to walk and
loosen some mud clumps