Heavy

I am safe. 

For the time being, I am safe. 

It is Shabbat and I am preparing to go to bed early.  And this is the time my phone...it begins to inform me of the danger that is still miles away from me.  Dozens of miles away.  Usually dozens of miles away...

At this time it is still distant and I am safe, but I have begun to notice that there is more than one kind of danger.  While the rockets are not coming close to me, they have begun to have a profound effct upon me.  My spirit grows heavy with every azaka.

I grow weary.  

So many alarms on this Shabbat.

I am thankful for what peace there is here in Jerusalem, but it grows thinner with every chance they have to hurl their hate toward us.  I do not have to run from the rockets, but many of my people do.  I am not one that can stay indifferent indefinitely.  This second danger is weariness. I have been praying as is my custom, but I also must add to this regiment of prayer something else to resist the draw on my spirit.  Resist 

This is something I can be quite good at. 

scheme

I can't and I won't

those were your words …
and how dare you say such things!

What you have done is all that you can, but.
So rest awhile in your new home.
Please stay there longer than what was.
My function is to grow under, to hide the work.

I am to solitary and want what peace is free
to spread and multiply past your thoughts of reality.
If I am important, you'll need to tell me.  I forget.

Un moving

to cripple my own right

shot foot and no nose face
I crawl with out defense.  I am tummy up and foolish.
Shall I consider a real working of?
Shall we fit into a reworking of?

un hinged
strung
and songs not yet played.

I'm not in the place i need to be
I have not been in the place I needed to be

the air is muddied and my eyes are not clear
know this:
holiness is central and must be chosen

A string, wrapped into a ball, comes un done.
relax
This ball straitens down the stares
because the stars are out of play at this time.

I need renewal.
I need failure.
I need to be myself and silly.

please help in the place you can

its time

Its time to stop and pause,  Are they the same thing?
I think not, so then wet water runs down the vine.

and then 6 wings

relisten, play with it over and over in order to find the order and placing.

we wait we wait we wait

minutes to turn and round out the final engine push.
the corner is still there, and will be
for a long time.
I'll start reading now…and enjoying
sauced until its right ;)

dried

Up and out I think I knew what it was that tis pen was for.
I've grown out of tiny seeds to see these things, but this clarity cost is to high.  SO BREAK ME!!! It runs out this pace and place, but one for two and exchange for every other.  water flows but I'm an end point.

I'm trying not to be. I want to help those that drip out these leaks. repair these sides opposing in selfishness only.  though the dry part is very much there, it is not my destiny.

Have i spoken out of both sides? she cut out from my under…"I am far more dangerous than you thought."  She is poor and uninvested.  This brings the garden out of reach and myself even further.  Am I in the right process? are we finding the needed amount of new things?
G.K. had it right when he spoke about cell phones.  Carl was a far off while a car brought him further and further away.

I am out of touch and winking out from the wings because as time marches, I find the slope up ramps with out kindness.  there is no care for my personhood, nor should there be.  Every repeat sees the wheel hit another stump and influence perpetuates.  is this to be reread and seen.  I am so sorry to have failed you…it is true that these splotches are always communicable and therefor we are all guilty.

…drifting…...

child

You tore it from me, like fruit not yet ripe, and I'm sure you are sick from it.
Why so impatient? How do you drive such skill?
this splinter killing all that could be.  I pray for the best
you are waging war with your self. Draga sora, how many times?
my track record should speak
but you turn your deaf ear…

I am hollowed out with assurance and a birth room speech.
I, too, am child like and petty.

please open your time clock...the rest of the way.
i standing here, but soon sitting will drive my legs past your plot.
I am not in control and you should know that you are not either.
we both melt at different speeds

I just want you to ask
                        to know that you don't know.

You said

You said I don't want to explain

You said I know you know how to talk

You said do you want to...

You said you were in my dream

You said how do you know 

You said Passover!?!?

You said